even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
