I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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