just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she told me i tasted like america
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
