Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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