problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
