Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize