You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
