I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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