the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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