You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
