so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
