Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
