I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
