Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and she was petting her beer can
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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