It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
