Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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