Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
