Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize