Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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