C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
