For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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