whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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