Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
