I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
