So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
