Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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