Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
