Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
