Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
