So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
