it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We talked him into tasing himself.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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