Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
