The maid of honor just puked.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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