at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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