Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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