She said her name was "party"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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