Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
