So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
