i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
