And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
