Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
