i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
