my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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