508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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