so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
