There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
