Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
