I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
