"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
