Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize