do herpes really smell.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Everclear isn't food dammit
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
