He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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