He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
