wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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