small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
