just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
