I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
