I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
