oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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