mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
