Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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