Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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