so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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