Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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