peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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